9 Lessons from a Well Built Marriage

Disclaimer: I’m not a marriage expert, nor am I saying our marriage is perfect or that I’m the perfect husband. There is only perfect person that has graced us with his presence on this planet, and his name is Jesus.

Our marriage wasn’t initially built on a solid foundation. It was more like a boathouse, but built kind of like the boat that Tom Hanks built in Cast Away. You remember that don’t you? It wasn’t built to make it the distance if you know what I’m getting at. What’s interesting though, as I’m referring to that movie, I’m reminded about that big cargo ship that picks him up off his tattered and beaten boat. That is kind of what happened in our marriage. Now I’m not saying that our marriage was on the rocks before the huge, massive, and sturdy ship picked us up and saved us, but I’m 100% positive that the ship saved us from the disasters that laid ahead in our marriage.

Here’s what our boat looked like before the cargo ship saved us:

Here’s what our boat looks like now:

If it isn’t obvious by now, I’ll state it plainly. Jesus saved our marriage. He saved it even before we knew it needed saving.

He saved me from screwing it all up! Because I know Jenny wouldn’t have. I certainly wasn’t on the path to have treated this King’s daughter the way she deserves to be treated.

Today it’s our 9 year anniversary. I’m the only one up in our house as I type this…..check that…..I can hear my 6 year old talking to himself in his room. He doesn’t come out until his clock turns green. Parenting side note, check into that, it’s awesome! Moving on, I’m more in love with this woman than ever. If you knew me pre-28 and prior to getting saved, you probably knew me as the womanizing, funny, and sometimes sober Brandon. If you know me post 28, you probably know me as the driven husband, father, and leader. At least I hope so anyway. It’s kind of hard to write stuff about yourself that sounds like you’re stroking your own ego. I digress, my greatest accomplishment to date, is the on-going quest to be the best husband I can be for my bride. I’m far from perfect, but I feel I’ve earned the opportunity to share of few tips, 9 lessons in other words, from our 9 years of a Well Built Marriage, from a man’s perspective.

1. Read the Bible daily. I know I probably lost about 50% of readership right there, but I feel that’s a huge part of the problem with our society. God is love, and a man’s sinful ego, pride, lust, etc… needs to be tamed. The best way I’ve found to get deep insights and wisdom for my marriage and life is to read this first thing in the morning. It changes everything.
2. Pray for her! Praying for others changes your perspective on everything. It changes your heart in the best of ways. This is no exception for your bride gentlemen. If you’re struggling with something with your bride, pray for her! Even better, pray with her! Couples that pray together, stay together. I’d love to see a statistic of divorce rates in those that pray together. I’ll bet it dramatically defies the divorce rate norms we see in our world today.
3. Workout in the morning before she even opens her eyes. I’m convinced that my wife finds this sexy. Her man is up at ’em getting stronger, staying healthy for her and the family, and becoming that silver fox that she’s always dreamed about.
4. Pinch, grab, or “twap” her butt often. Twap is a quick back-handed hand flick of the gluteus maximus in case you were wondering. She may give me the stink eye from time to time when it catches her not expecting it, but she knows it’s because I desire her and it makes her feel desired.
5. Kiss her no less than 3 times per day, and don’t be afraid of PDA (public displays of affection). I mean, keep your tongue in your mouth, but trust me, your wife will love it when you kiss her in front of your “bros” and colleagues, or whomever. It’s like saying “you’re my one and only” in public without saying nothing at all. It breaks my heart when I’m with couples that seem like hardly friends, much less lovers. Romance starts with the man, not the woman.
6. Write her love notes periodically. You don’t have to be Shakespeare guys, a simple post it note with a few nice words and “I adore you” on the steering wheel of her car will have her floating on air.
7. Gladly change dirty diapers and help her with chores when she asks you to help. I’m one heckuva diaper changer, but I’m still working on being better with helping her with daily chores around the house.
8. Try to get into her pants no less than 3 days/week. Did he really just type that? Look, men, if you spent more time doing the things above rather watching porn, reading playboy magazines, and griping with your bros about why your wife won’t do this or that while you drink 12oz cans of manboob juice, you’d be getting lucky more often. How do I know? Because I was that guy…..and I get lucky often 😉
9. Love her children with reckless abandon. Play with them, pray with them, and discipline them. Help her raise great adults. I’m afraid we have a generation of kids being raised by a bunch of moms. Hats off to the moms, but I’d be willing to bet they’d like their man to do their portion with passion, joy, and love in their heart.

These may be 9 tips that you’ve never heard before, but I hope that it blesses you as it has me. Maybe you’ll even get lucky more often than you have been. 😉

We can fist bump on it later my dudes.

Cheers to you becoming her silver fox.